God, Help Me

God:

Help me every day. I cannot do this alone. I need your help.

I am signing up to die. To die every day. So I can live. So I can be ALIVE.

Up until this point, I have been unsuccessful at this way of life. I have tried for a long time to do this on my own. I cannot win. I cannot win without you.

So today I ask for your help. I need your help every day. I need your help dying.

I need your help separating myself from my psychically possessed inner urges. I need your help to overcome that which, until this point, has always overcome me.

All my urges. All the temptations. All my automatic behaviors and physical external habits I grasp for safety. I have lost every battle until now. I ask for your help.

Please help me, God. Help me separate myself from these false versions of me. Help me separate myself from my emotional body, my judgments and preferences, my likes and dislikes. Help me separate myself from urge and temptation.

Help me remember who I am - who I REALLY am. Help give me strength to overcome. Help give me courage to die.

I can’t do it alone. Today I ask for help. Please help me, God. Please help me.

Thank you, Thank you so much. Thank you.

~ Joshua